God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
