i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize