Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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