shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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