I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
