Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
