Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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