can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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