I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
