I'm sorry my penis didn't work
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
