so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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