So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
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Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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