i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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