I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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