...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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