no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
