i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
