Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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