The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
