I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i now understand why vodka
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
