He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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