i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
