Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
