what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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