Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
