have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
