I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
