It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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