I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize