Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
