Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dicks are not precious.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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