The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
