Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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