One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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