I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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