sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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