She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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