I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
