Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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