I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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