I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize