I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
