I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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