Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
