Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
