he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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