Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.