the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months