I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!