xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
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New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
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By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?