I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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