I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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