yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
