Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
