Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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