That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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