We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
