all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
