Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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