? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
