Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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