I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The best revenge is premature balding
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Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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