So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This baby is an asshole
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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