I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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