This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His nipple licking is glorious
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