dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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