the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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